Why I Hate Writing

"I HATE writing."

That's not the kind of start you want to go with when you're speaking to a bunch of undergrad writers. But I didn't stop there.

"I hate writing as much as I hate reading!" I told them.

After the hesitant giggles subsided, I went on to explain to them what I meant.

I was giving a short talk to the students of the International Literature Class at the University of Iowa as part of my participation in the International Writing Program.

If a writer tells you that writing is a joy, know that they are lying. Writing is associated with misery and here's why:

When you're not writing, you are miserable.
When you are writing, you are not happy with what you're writing.
When you finish a piece, you find it horrible it is.
When you publish your work, you think of how you could've made it sound better.

Get the picture?

When it comes to reading, well. We were brought up associating reading with school textbooks and homework. Anyone who's gone through government schooling must've grown up hating books. We never explored the idea that reading can be for pleasure, and not just punishment.

At home, my parents had a big wall library full of all sorts of books on religions, politics, history and philosophy. My father kept insisting that I should read. The idea never appealed to me.  Later on in life, I discovered that I can read what I want, when I want, for nothing more than passing time.

Following the talk, a bunch of the students asked me about the short story 'The Red Hand' which they had read as part of their class. I was both honored and flattered by their comments, questions and responses.

Here are some of them:

"From the cryptic description of the Red Hand in the beginning, I was on the edge of my seat" - Matthew McLaughlin

"Your story intrigued me from the beginning. I thought that this story was a metaphor about our society and the way we look at inspiration," - Aubrey Davidson

"First of all, I must say I really enjoyed your short story, 'The Red Hand', as it was very good at hiding it was going to be a short horror story, instead opting for a more traditional mystery novella kind of feel," - Akira Mizobuchi

"Your story was so descriptive and realistic," - Erica Jennings

"Your story left me fixating on this idea of whether it's worse to know or not know," - Kelsey Chingren 

It was a real pleasure to speak to these bright young things and I was pleasure with the way they responded to my story and my talk.

I ended my speech by saying that the less we know, the more we discover. And it's that notion that kept me going as writer. I wanted to discover things for my self. My life was defined by NOT doing what I have been told to do.

Photos by Asma Nadia 

A Novel Approach

The question of what differentiates a novel from a short story might at first seem obvious. Many immediately refer to the ‘length’ and word count of each form

But the reality, as I am discovering more and more from my chats with numerous fiction writers scattered in every corner of Iowa City, is that length is the last difference to consider.

Van, a first year fiction writer at the Iowa Writers Workshop, whom I met following a rather entertaining, albeit odd, poetry recital at The Mill, jokingly said that he doesn’t even know what a novel is anymore.

He told me how short fiction is a much more fluid form that he enjoys exploring. I agreed with him. There is something far more refreshing and rewarding about writing a short story. I pointed out that novels spend the first couple of hundred of pages building up to this ultimate climax that the reader is meant to care for, this of course doesn’t apply to every novel. But it often is the case.

Where as with short stories, you don’t have to have such a climax. It’s an exploration of the human condition rather than a telling of a series of events. The night before, I was dragged by the ever wise and wonderful Canadian/Egyptian writer Karim Alrawi to the Foxhead, the famed bar that many great writers spent their time deliberating literature, and writing, and naturally, enjoying the odd drink or two. 

I had expressed my anxiety to Karim about starting a new novel. I had two unfinished manuscripts that I no longer felt attached to and felt the need to use my time during the IWP to begin a new project.

And what he said sounded so simple, yet something I’ve never considered before. He said. “Start with your ending. Figure it out and build your story from there.” Your final act, your ending, is the reward that the readers looks for after investing time in reading your novel. So it is crucial.

Short stories, sometimes, don’t even have to have plot. But approaching a novel from the end would allow it to grow organically and gradually, branching into the events and characters that leads it to it.

That and choice.

Present a moral choice that your protagonist has to make in order to resolve the conflict. A choice that builds suspense by the time the reader has developed an emotional connection with the character.

With that in mind, let’s get to writing.

True Fiction - Every Month!

Every month, I will post a new piece of writing for you. These will include completed, unpublished short stories, essays, columns, or works in progress. These will be available online free for you to read and your feedback will be much appreciated.

Head over to the "True Fiction" section to find the first of the series, a short story entitled "The Shadowlands", which is about a man who loses his shadow.

Thank you.

A Writer of Ficion is What I Am

Am I the same person I was yesterday?
Will I be the same person tomorrow?
Life is traveling like a shooting star.
All fast and sparkling.
But, eventually, fading.
I am 29.
And I've just known what love is.
What will I learn when I am one year older?

I've been sucked into the vortex of my new job. It's been extremely busy, but the disconcerting thing is that I'm enjoying it, despire the fact that I've put in 8 hours on a Friday, something I've never done before and that I didn't think I'd even contemplate.

I've hardly had time to catch my breath. Hours and days are tinged with a sensation of timelessness, time has no more weight. And through them there is one thing that now matters to me most. One thing and one thing alone. And it's a beautiful thing.

No, I've not been writing. The truth is that I actually miss writing. I miss being a 'writer'. And all that comes along with it, the freedom, liberation, wrecklessness, carelessness... a complete disregard for reality. I am a writer of fiction. And fiction is what I write.

But I don't feel I am the same writer I was four, five or even ten years ago! I no longer write because I NEED to. There is a sense of obligation, of responsibility, an unwelcomed burden.

I want to go back to the writer I am. Go back to losing myself into the thick of it, and not the idea of it. I worry, and this is, now, my darkest worries, is that I will never be that writer ever again.

I'm a Black Sheep

My first few days at work were no more than a chillout! This is just my kinda place. Sitting on a beanbag, chatting and having three-hour lunch breaks! Heehaw!

But I've really been down lately. My writing has almost come to a standstill. No more work done on the novel. Although oddly enough I found myself starting a new short story yesterday. I discovered an old piece I had written and suddenly realized that I wanted to write it as a story. It's about a teenage boy's "relationship" with God and it's called Nancy's Wine.

I also have come up with a nice little idea of a short bedtime tale that I began telling my sweetheart on the phone. All I'm going to say about it is that involves a Star. But in honesty that the last thing I need, is to start more new stories! I need to END them! I've got several stories around awiting completion.

For those interested in Elham, the new program is being finalized and will be announced by the middle of this month. We are still looking for people to showcase their work in our monthly meetings, so if you're keen, give us a shout at elhambahrain@yahoo.com

Illustrating Musk for Publication

I have always had a fascinating with art and illustrations, and have always wanted to have the opportunity to publish an illustrated story. My short story, Musk, will be serialized over three issues in Ohlala Arabia magazine from September and will feature illustrations by French young artist Meriem Bennani.

I am getting excited about the concept. The story is about a "giant" boy who is abandoned in the desert where he grows up believing that he was a god and encounters a "wizard" midget!

I've seen some of Meriem's work and was impressed by some of her illustrations. After I sent her the story and some of my notes, she began working on developing the illustrations that will go with the story in the magazine.

I got the very first drawings from her yesterday. These are the rough first drafts so to speak. I give you a sneak peak of Kabeer, the giant boy/god, here. I will posting the developments of the story and the illustrations over the next few weeks and take you through the process until the actual publication of Musk.

My Happy Place

It's funny how things work sometimes. You want to get something done so bad that the more you focus on it, the harder you try to get it done, the more unlikely it seems it will ever do! Makes sense?

I've been struggling with my 2nd novel so bad that it was starting to get very frustrating. I'd spent hours and days and nights thinking about it, trying to write it, hoping that I will eventually crack it, until I realised that it doesnt really have to be that way. So I moved to the next project online.

My 3rd novel kicked alive. And I suddenly am back to writing. After months of despair and not being able to write, I am working steadily so far. I had decided that I will complete a novel this month. It's unlikely, but I am determined to give it my best shot. I was going to go for the usual 1000 words per day. So far I've written a little over 3000 words in 5 days. I know I'm off target but you have to keep in mind thet problems I've been facing with my friggin laptop.... I swear to god, if anyone as much as mentions Acer to me ever again I will take it and smack them on the head with it!

I've found my happy place. And it's in Caribou!

For the Weekend

A book you MUST read...

A film you MUST see...