Hidden

I am hiding

I am hiding from your reality

I am hiding from hour reality because it is my nightmare

I am hiding from your reality because it is full of social interaction and slime and employment

Your reality is made out of things such as love and religion and pancakes

It is frightening

I am hiding because pancakes have 247 calories

And I add maple syrup to everything

Like my car's engine and my burger patty

I am hiding

I am hiding from your love

I am hiding from your love because it is dirty

And it stains me with emotion

I am hiding from your love because it involves physical interaction and fluids and damp sheets

I am hiding

I am hiding from you

Come hide with me

The Return

I am sure there is a reason for bringing back an old blog to life after more than 3 years in the twilight. But I am not sure what it is yet. I'm hoping to find out, one post at a time.

Live In A Hiding Place

I'm in a lousy fucking mood right now. I don't know why. I just can't seem to shake it off. And the harder I try, the worse it gets. And I wish I could explain that. Make sense of it. It's just not right. The thing is, things have been good. Actually things have been very good. Past few days and weeks were quite pleasant. I'm enjoying the work. Keeping busy. Meeting peopl. And I think I'm in love!

So what does being in a shitty mood mean?

I've been thinking. I think it's down to the situation I'm heading in right now. I seem to fall into such state everytime I have to make a big decision. It effects me. But it's just one day, isnt it? Tomorrow I'll be fine again. I'm sure. Hell, I wrote a few paragraphs last night! HA! I WROTE. I've not written in weeks. And I'm close to finishing this short story (working title "Fragile Beings") months ago.

But right now I just want to go back in time to two hours ago, and make things better.

If you're reading this, I'm sorry.

All I could think of is these lyrics from one of my favorite Idlewild songs "Live in a Hiding Place"

There are times that I should try,
To be so much more alive
But if time was right then I would be with you again
Or do you worry that I try to avoid the point
And then deny
The time I spent deciding it was you again

It's when I live in a hiding place
It's the only way I feel safe
When I'm safe in a hiding place
(That's not hidden now)
I'm safe in a hiding place
It's the only way I feel safe
When I'm safe in a hiding place