Saturday, June 03, 2006

Red Eyes

Zoetrope.com is perhaps known as one of the best established online writing communities around. The website – launched by the one and only Francis Coppola – is a more of a workshop for serious writers and filmmakers and is a great place to have your work reviewed and critiqued.

I decided to put up my first draft of the Red Hand film script. So far two members, with screenwriting and directing credits under their belts, have had positive things to say about the script, which I am understandably quite pleased with.

"The Red Hand presented a very personal slow-paced introspective story of a man's search for truth in his life. I thought your characters and their dialogue was the strength of your short script. I related to all of them. They were well described, and both their dialogue and action was generally both relevant to the story and characteristic of their roles." - Kurt St. Angelo.

"I found the story very interesting. I kept wondering about the Red Hand. It and all the other elements created a great story that kept me wondering. It was a pretty original story and was somewhat different from anything I’d read or seen before. It really felt like it had cinematic quality. So much so that I was surprised you did not make it a feature script." - Christopher Joel Traub.

Here is the overall rating the Red Hand script received:

Overall: Good
Character: Very Good
Plot: Good
Dialogue: Good
Originality: Good
Quality of Writing: Good
Cinematic Quality: Good


I'm expecting more reviews to come in and I'll share them with you once they do. Once I get enough feedback I will begin working on a new draft for the film. One issue I am facing is that it is written in English, but is based in Bahrain.

I was a little disappointed when a potential local producer turned it down last year because he felt it was a little too 'taboo' to make and that it was 'controversial'. Well, that's the whole point. We always look the other away instead of dealing with such issues in these parts of the world.

4 comments:

tooners said...

Great feedback! I can wait to read more.

May I read it?

Taboo subjects are the best... I have this book about this girl, who's a writer (it was her first book published in English), and she talks about taboo subjects (life in China, relationships, drugs, etc).. I loved it. It was banned in China.

Are there other producers here? I can't help but to refer back to your blog relating to needing support here for local talent. Isn't it a shame that some will support you as long as you write about what they want you to write about?!

Cerebralwaste said...

I also would like to take a peak at the script too Ali!

Don't let the rejection hold you back. KEEP PUSHIN'!!!!

Mark

Alfanan said...

If you're going to listen to local producers, you'll never get anywhere with your talent.

Can't wait to "listen" to this story :)

Ali Al Saeed said...

Thank you.

Toonsers, its, as the saying goes, sad but true. I've been advised before to write about "certain" people or topics to get recognition/success here in Bahrain. But I'm not that kind of writer.

As for the filmmaking industry in Bahrain, well, I think its safe to say that it's not been born yet.